Questions for Dr. Kim


I need help. Long story short I've been married 10 years and my husband has had a number of affairs. We almost divorced after having one child because of the affairs. I found out through mutual friends about the affairs and he only admitted to it when he was caught. After a year separated he promised me he had changed.  We got back together and had another baby. During that pregnancy I found out he was drinking and after our baby was born I found out he was doing drugs. Now I'm pregnant with our third child and he's still lying and doing drugs. We attend church together and he plays the part at church but has not committed himself to Christ. I feel so drained and betrayed. I feel like he's never going yo change and I just can't handle the lies and not knowing where he's at and who he's with. But being pregnant and dependent on him financially makes it so scary to leave. I don't know what to do. I just want to give up.....

Dr. Kim:

First, do not give up.  God loves you and knows your situation and has a perfect plan for you and your children.  I would encourage you to see a respected pastor or a Christian counselor.  You need someone to talk things through with you.  

It is okay to draw boundaries with your husband.  For example, you can tell him that until he gets his life together, you will not see him.  This will be a long process from what you have said about him. The drugs become the most important thing in an addict's life and take first place over spouse, children, and God.  You cannot change him but you can stop enabling him.  Surround yourself with strong Christian friends that will stand by you and with you.  

Pray for him and your marriage.  God can heal both.  If God releases you from the marriage, He will give you His peace and you will know you are released in your heart.