What does it mean to be totally honest with your spouse?
That is a great question and one that I want to answer carefully. First, honesty has to be part of a marriage. A husband and a wife have to be able to trust each other completely. Often, I work with couples where trust has been broken. It takes a lot of work to rebuild it. Trust is one of those things that we seem to take for granted until we lose it. Then we realize how precious it is.
The ‘careful’ part of my answer is this. In a situation where one spouse has been unfaithful to the other, I believe two things are important. One, the offending spouse needs to be totally honest with their mate. If this does not happen, trust will never be rebuilt. Two, being honest does not necessarily involve telling each and every detail of the unfaithfulness. This can sometimes be more than the spouse can handle. Just knowing that there has been unfaithfulness is enough. So be careful in this area. Often the wise counsel of a third party can be very helpful.
Bottom line. If you have trust cherish and keep it. If not, work hard to rebuild it.