Sometimes we verbalize our resentments and sometimes we hold them inside. Sometimes they come out as passive aggressive behavior. Resentments come when we feel that we have not been treated fairly. Some of our resentments are based on truth, while others are not. In counseling couples, I have seen a spouse hold on to resentment - or resentments - for literally years. Resentment can crater a marriage very quickly or can chip away at a marriage a little at a time. Either way, the marriage suffers.
Let’s take this discussion of resentments from “them” to “you and to me.” If you honestly searched your heart, would you find resentment toward your spouse? If yes, think about how that affects your marriage and how you view your spouse. Resentment can build walls in a marriage, with the husband on one side and the wife on the other. Some walls are tall and very solid; others are there but not as visible. The bottom line is this: Resentment has no place in an Awesome Marriage.
I can hear some of you now: “But you don’t know what they did.” You are right. I don’t. What I do know is that the One who created marriage tells us to forgive. Period. We forgive because He tells us to forgive. We forgive because He forgave us. If I am holding on to resentment against Nancy, our marriage will suffer until it is resolved and that ultimately involves forgiveness.
I want an Awesome Marriage. I think you do too or you would not be here. If you are holding a resentment or resentments against your spouse today, it’s time to take that first step toward healing and forgiveness. Take your open heart before God and let Him begin the process. Let Him heal the past and walk with you both into a new, healthy, forgiven future.