40 Tips for Parents to Have a Healthy Marriage

Both marriage and parenting are long-haul callings, but it can be really hard to see the big picture when you’re up to your knees in the mundane. If you need a dose of hope or fresh perspective, I’ve got your back! Today I’ll give you 40 tips to help your marriage thrive in the busy years of parenting. 

When the days are long but the years are short, remember that God has chosen you and your spouse for one another, and both of you together for your kids. There are parts of you that God will grow and shape through parenting, and parts of your kids that you will see come alive as they grow. By keeping your perspective open to the big picture, you can keep your marriage growing through the years with kids in the home, and be ready to enjoy the next stage together once the kids have “grown and flown.” 

Whether you’re worn out, fed up, or just soaking in every moment, I pray these 40 tips encourage and bless you and your marriage, and nudge you toward a healthier marriage and family. 

If you love these tips and want a visual for your home, get the free 40 Tips PDF here. 

 40 Tips for Parents to Have a Healthy Marriage 

1. Never forget that a healthy marriage is a GIFT to your children. 

2. Don’t miss out on JOY! Find time to play with and enjoy your kids together. 

3. Leave competition and comparison out of your marriage. Don’t compete with your spouse or compare them to your own parents or your friends’ spouses. 

4. Respect one another’s differences. 

5. Rather than comparing your spouse’s parenting style with yours, work together to balance one another. We are different as moms and dads, and that is a good thing!

6. Remember that getting on the same page about parenting doesn’t mean you will do things exactly the same way. 

7. On tough days, have extra grace. Don’t take their frustrations personally. 

8. When you’re not sure what they meant, assume positive intent. 

9. When you think something good about your spouse’s parenting, say it - call, text, leave a note, or tell them!

10. Encouragement or appreciation can help buoy us on a tough day. How can you encourage and appreciate your spouse today?

11. Don’t expect your spouse to handle kid issues exactly the same way you would. 

12. Don’t correct your spouse in front of your kids. 

13. Love covers a multitude of sins - remember your love for your spouse. 

14. Envision the kind of spouse you wish to be. What characteristics would you like your spouse to see in you? Do what you can to cultivate those.

15. Remember that your kids aren’t your everything. You aren’t in control of them and you cannot parent them perfectly. When we elevate our kids’ importance in our lives, our marriage suffers. 

16. Don’t compare your stress or your workload to your spouse’s. You are operating in different callings. Comparison or competition will break your relationship down. 

17. Understand that you’re each “running your own race” and seek to be faithful in what God has called you to.

18.  It’s okay to be direct with your spouse and your kids. You can be polite, kind and direct at the same time. 

19. Don’t harbor any bitterness or let old hurts fester. Keep short accounts: Apologize and forgive freely. 

20. Praise and celebrate your spouse in front of the kids.

21. Get on the same page - work together to manage parenting. Seeing you two as a unified pair they can rely on will help give your children security. 

22. Don’t overreact. In any situation, our calm response as parents can give children a lot of security. 

23. Make date night a priority. Home dates count too! (Check out these in home date designs! Welcome To Paradise Date, ‘Falling For You’ Date, ‘You Make Me Melt’ Date) 

24. Establish time alone together. Draw necessary boundaries with kids to make this happen. 

25. Tag team in frustrating situations like kid tantrums or long drawn out bedtimes. 

26. Make time to be intimate. (Schedule it if necessary!)

27. Plan ahead for time to connect physically. (Snuggling, back rubs, etc!)

28. Build an atmosphere of encouragement in the home. Encourage your spouse and children regularly. 

29. Build in a habit of checking in with your spouse. Get a baseline for how they’re doing in their day and respond appropriately. (Check out our Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide for help in this area.)

30. Offer each other “free” time away with no expectations, no strings attached. Communicate ahead of time about expectations of time and money spent while away. Wanting time away doesn’t mean you’re a “bad parent”! 

31. Fathers: Encourage your daughter to be like your wife; point out their similarities. 

32. Moms: Point out and appreciate the similarities between your husband and son.

33. Pray for one another.

34. Pray together for the kids. 

35. Find ways to show affection.

36. Ask your spouse what makes them feel most loved, and find ways to do those things. 

37. Catch your kids doing something good, and praise them for it. 

38. Have each other’s back. Be unified to the kids. Asking the kids, “What did mom / dad say?” before you give an answer is an easy way to do this. 

39. Appreciate the things they do and tell them that you do. 

40. Look for opportunities to encourage, praise and appreciate your spouse and kids. 

If you want more help getting on the same page, check out our brand new resource 100 Questions To Get You On The Same Page: A Parenting Workbook. This workbook is designed to help you work together to build your marriage and family. Each section will help you to align your vision for your marriage and family, and the questions will help you to get on the same page in parenting. It is a 13-page PDF with 5 sections: Self Evaluation, Working Together, Family Rhythms, The Tough Stuff, and Looking Ahead. Each section has 20 questions to help you have both the fun and the hard conversations needed to get on the same page in parenting.

Snag it with any donation made to Awesome Marriage. Thank you for your support! 

Written By Lindsay Few, Content Editor at Awesome Marriage