"What is the rush?" by Brian Crosson

I am excited for you to meet Brian Crosson as he begins to write for our Singles. Brian is a follower of Christ and single father of 3 from Oklahoma City. He has a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Oklahoma State University and is currently working on his Masters degree in Human Services specializing in Marriage and Family therapy through Liberty University Online. He has recently created and is slowly building his singles ministry Persistently Patient as he uses his experiences in marriage and the single season to encourage others. Feel free to visit his Facebook page (link https://www.facebook.com/PersistentlyPatient) or follow his twitter account (@PersPatient) in order to join the conversation.

Dr. Kim

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The other day I had the wonderful opportunity to attend my church’s quarterly staff meeting. During our pastor’s speech he spoke about discipline and how we must be disciplined in choosing between what we want now and what we want most. Although in this particular instance our pastor was referring to how we operate and serve the church, this same principle can and should actually be used in many, if not all aspects of life.

When I think about this principle as a single Christian I think about the speed at which many Christian relationships move. You see it quite often actually. Two Christian singles meet, fall in love, and are married shortly thereafter. 

Can these be fulfilling Christ centered relationships? Sure they can! But wouldn’t you increase the possibility of success by slowing it down…….just a bit, and choosing what you want most over what you want now? 

To be honest with you, I myself am what you would call a “true romantic”. The idea of finding that “one true love” gets me just as excited as the next person (although, I don’t know that I really believe in “one” person anyways), but I don’t think that means we have to move so fast. 

When I think about the patience that we need to have in relationships I look to what is probably one of my favorite romance stories of the Bible (besides the story of Jesus himself). It’s a story about a man named Jacob who traveled miles and miles to find his wife. As he completes his travels he meets a very beautiful woman named Rachel, and upon meeting her and kissing her, he begins to cry. 

Now what the Bible does not explain is exactly why he started crying, but based on the rest of the story (and my previously mentioned “true romantic” heart) I am going to assume that it was because he believed that he had found the love of his life. 

So, what happens next? 

Jacob did one of the most romantic things he could have done; he gave her father seven years of hard labor for her hand in marriage; SEVEN YEARS!!!! (It actually ended up being 14, but you can read Genesis 29 for the entire story yourself)

What does this tell you? Well, I’m not sure how that will speak to you, but for me it means that I can wait. 

Yes, I.CAN.WAIT!

You see, the thing that we often forget about marriage is that it’s not actually about us; it’s actually about Christ and sacrifice. The Lord tells us in Ephesians 5 (21-33) that we are to love our spouses as Christ loved the Church. And, if you’re not quite sure yet Christ sacrificed himself for US, the Church. So what are you willing to sacrifice (from time to time, or all the time) for your (future) spouse?

 I believe the first thing we should sacrifice for our spouse is our time. Have some patience; you have the rest of your life to get to know your significant other. Do it with purpose, but not necessarily with speed. Nothing good ever comes out of doing things in a rush. Things are either left incomplete or they are completely overlooked. And….you owe it to that person to make sure that you are what they want too, right? If you truly love them you will look out for their best interest by ensuring that both of you are truly ready for this lifelong commitment. 

Who knows, if you’re slow and patient with your relationship God just may bless the two of you even more…….whether it turns into marriage or not.

Brian Crosson