An awesome marriage is not “selfish” and that may be the toughest obstacle any of us have to overcome. What is selfishness? Well to me it is when I put my wants, my desires, and my needs above Nancy’s. It is when I want her world to revolve around mine. And do you know what is really hard for me to admit? There are times that I think she should and that is just crazy thinking on my part. A marriage can never be built on selfishness.

Sometimes I can think that I have been a pretty good husband and it is her turn to serve me. I can build a pretty good case in my mind about this. The problem is that a healthy marriage does not work that way. A healthy marriage is not one person getting their way at the expense of the other. I think a healthy marriage is two people who each day purposely seek to serve each other. And do you know what? When both the husband and the wife do that, they each end up getting their needs met.

Dr. Kim