When it comes to sex, there are a lot of differences between men and women. The most obvious difference is seen in our anatomies. God perfectly designed the body of a man and the body of a woman for maximum enjoyment in the sexual relationship. How can anyone think that God has something against sex when He is the One who put everything in its perfect place? The way the body of a man and the body of a woman fit perfectly together with the sensuous areas touching is truly a gift from a God who loves us very much.
But what about the unique ways men and women think about sex? A long time ago, I heard this comment: “Women give sex to get intimacy; men give intimacy to get sex.” On the surface that statement sounds pretty crass, yet there is a lot of truth in it. As nurturers—by God’s design—women usually have a deeper understanding of what goes into intimacy in a marriage. Men, on the other hand, naturally respond to visual stimuli and become sexually excited very easily. These differences can either drive us apart sexually in marriage or, if we embrace them, bring us great satisfaction as we learn from each other.
If Nancy was not the way she is, I would never have learned the pleasures of cuddling, holding hands, and touching in nonsexual ways. As husbands, we can learn from our wives about intimacy that enriches our sexual relationship. It is part of God’s plan.
A guy’s first attraction to his wife, maybe before he even learns her name, is visual. That attraction not only plays an important part in the beginning of the relationship but also continues throughout the marriage. As guys, sex is on our minds a lot. Most of us think we could never have too much of it. I know our wives can get tired of our sexual innuendos and other things we say and do about sex. But ladies, think about it this way: What if your husband was not attracted to you sexually?
Like in other areas of marriage, we are so much better off when we embrace our differences. When we do, and we when we learn from each other, it can take our sexual relationship in marriage to a whole new level.