Sex In Marriage: Men - Day 3

From my experience in counseling over the years, it seems that men usually have wider boundaries in the sexual relationship that their wives do.  That is not a good or bad thing - just a difference.  I think that is true because men often think about sex more and often fantasize about having sex with their wives.  Men are also more visual and that too plays a part.   The problem is not the difference.  The problem often comes when as husbands we try to impose those boundaries on our wives.

So how do we handle sexual boundaries in our marriages?  How do we know what is okay and what is not.  My definition of what are‘healthy boundaries’ in sex in marriage is this: “ Anything is permissible as long as both the husband and the wife agree to it and it is not demeaning to either spouse and is not illegal.”

The real key is what is acceptable to our spouse.  Communication comes in again.  Talk about sexual boundaries in your marriage.  Find a comfort level for both of you.  Great sex in marriage does not happen with pushing the boundaries.  Great sex in marriage happens with both are totally comfortable with the sexual relationship.

Dr. Kim