Marriage Struggles: Rage

Rage is anger that is violent, unbridled, and uncontrolled. Rage has always reminded me of an active volcano. The anger boils inside and builds and intensifies until it spews out all over the person in its path. The explosion causes big-time destruction that sometimes never can be repaired. That is rage. And when it happens in a marriage, the result may be the end of the marriage.

Let’s back up a little and look at anger. Most of us would say we get angry sometimes. We also know that anger in itself is not a sin. The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV). If I feel anger toward Nancy, I need to be careful how I handle that anger. Sinful behavior would include yelling at her or physically harming her. But it’s not sinful for me to ask her to sit down and talk through my anger with me. See the difference?

Rage is anger on steroids; it’s unbridled, out of control, and sinful. Rage becomes punishing and really knows no boundaries. Have you ever been there? Do you know how you got there? My guess is that you allowed anger to build up over time—like the exploding volcano. A volcano can be inactive for a long time—a very long time. Yet, when it is inactive, all the ingredients for an explosion lie beneath that calm surface. As it heats up, things begin to boil until an explosion is inevitable. Honestly, that could happen to any of us. If we allow anger, bitterness, and resentment to build within us, we are in danger of becoming active volcanos.

Are you harboring anger in your heart? If so, today is the day to deal with it before it gets out of control. The answer for anger is simple on one hand and extremely difficult on the other. The answer is forgiveness. In my experience, it is the only answer. Some of you are probably saying, “Are you kidding? You do not know what they did.” You are right. I don’t. But I do know what unforgiveness can do to a person. The anger can build and turn to rage that spews everywhere.

Try this. Take your anger before God in prayer. He knows everything anyway. Ask Him to guide you through the process of forgiveness. Forgiving your spouse might happen today or it may happen over time, but it will happen if you allow it to. Taking this step can prevent an eruption that could destroy your marriage. Will you get on your knees and begin now?