Habits of Healthy Couples: HABIT 2- Quality Conversation

When I meet with couples for counseling, the topic of quality conversation usually comes up.  From my experience, most wives know exactly what quality conversation is and desire for that to be a part of their marriage. To give guys some credit, many of you did a pretty good job before marriage but that was when you were in pursuit mode and you were pulling out all the stops to get this woman - including quality conversation. Many guys think that God hard wired men so that this conversation ability disappeared on the day we said “I do,” but that is a real hard sell!  

When we discuss this in counseling, most guys just don’t know what to do or they are afraid to go there. Guys, it is not that difficult. If you do these three things, you will be well on the way to hitting a conversation home run in your marriage. First, when your wife is talking, listen to every word she is saying. That way you will be able to respond to her in a really good way. Second, ask open-ended questions. Something like, “tell me about the best thing in your day,” instead of “how was your day.” This gives her a chance to engage more with you. Third, as you go through your day, be aware of things that happen you can share with her. They can be funny, interesting, or just what you did. The point is that you are working on bringing something to the conversation.

Consistently setting aside time for quality conversation is essential and lets it become a good habit for your marriage!