I think the first time I heard this premise was from Dr. James Dobson. It went something like this. As men, at the start of a new relationship, we pursue a woman with everything that we have. We “wine and dine” her. We send flowers, candy, and whatever else we find out that she likes. She becomes our focus 24/7 until she says “yes.” Then, some time after the wedding an interesting thing happens.
We stop pursuing. All that effort we put into “getting her” is now focused elsewhere. Dobson compares it to hunting. We go after our prey until we “bag” it. Then we move on to something else. As men we are conquerors. That entire process would be great if not for one thing. That was not God’s plan. Oh, the pursuing was His plan and the getting her to say “yes” was His plan, but His plan was not for us to stop there. The wedding was not supposed to be a big red stop sign telling us that our pursuing days are over.
From the couples I have counseled, I have learned that there is not one “stop pursuing” time that fits all. It may come with a new job, trying to better yourself in the job you have, or when the first child is born. That tendency to stop the pursuit seems to be in all of us. Guess what? It does not work. It never has and it never will.
Let me say it this way. Whatever you did to get her to say “yes” is what you need to keep doing for the next fifty years plus! Ladies, you don’t get off the hook here either! Whatever you did to get him to propose to you and marry you, keep it up. What I have learned over the years is that you just don’t get marriage right one time and then coast the rest of your years together. That will never give you an Awesome Marriage, but continuing to “pursue” will work every time!