Sloth is not a word we hear very often. Honestly, I had to look it up in the dictionary to make sure I knew what it meant. Here is what I found: Sloth is a reluctance to work or make an effort; it is laziness. This is the one deadly sin that I was not sure about when I decided to create this series. The others seemed to fit into a marriage picture pretty easily. But sloth? Then I read the definition and realized that sloth is the root cause of many of the issues couples face in marriage.
One of the most frustrating things I face when I counsel married couples is discovering that only one spouse really wants the marriage to work. One does everything I ask of them. One is passionate to build a healthy marriage. The other one? Sloth. They want their spouse to do all the work and make all the changes. They are along for the ride, and it is all about them. They make unfair conditional statements like “If she were a better housekeeper . . .”; “If he made more money . . .”; “If we had more sex . . .” The list could go on, but the bottom line is that they refuse to work on the marriage unless their spouse straightens up and does what they want them to do. Honestly, that kind of manipulation just won’t work.
If you really want an Awesome Marriage, it will take work and it will take both of you working. There is no room for laziness. It is two people, each giving 110 percent. All too often I see couples that do no more than exist together. They live under the same roof, but that is about it. No effort to improve the marriage. No desire to change. Just passing time together while life passes them by. That is an extremely sad picture. It is a slothful marriage.
Has sloth crept into your marriage? If it has, my counsel to you is this: Attack it now. Attack it with everything you have. Fight for an Awesome Marriage—and begin today.
Dr. Kim’s new book, 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage, will help you overcome sloth and move your marriage forward like you never dreamed possible.