The dictionary defines wrath as “extreme anger” or “rage” or “fury.” Wrath has always reminded me of an active volcano. The anger boils inside and builds and intensifies until it spews out all over everyone in its path. There is destruction—big-time destruction that can sometimes never be repaired. That is wrath. When it happens in a marriage, the result may be the end of the marriage.
Let’s back up a little. Let’s look at anger. Most of us would say that sometimes we get angry. We also know that anger in itself is not a sin. The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV). I think that means if I feel anger toward Nancy, I need to be careful how I handle that anger. I sin in my anger if I yell at her or physically harm her. But I don’t sin in my anger if I ask her to sit down and talk through the anger with me. See the difference?
Wrath is anger on steroids—unbridled, out of control, sinful. Wrath becomes punishing and really knows no boundaries. Have you ever been there? Do you know how you got there? My guess is that it built up over time, like the exploding volcano. A volcano can be inactive for a long time—a very long time. Yet, when it is inactive, all the ingredients for an explosion lie beneath that calm surface. As it heats up, things begin to boil until it finally explodes. Honestly, that could be any of us. If we let things build—if we do not forgive, if we do not let go of anger—we can become active volcanos.
Are you harboring anger in your heart? If so, today is the day to deal with it before it gets out of control. The answer for anger is simple on one hand and extremely difficult on the other. The answer is forgiveness. In my experience, it is the only answer. Some of you are saying, “Are you kidding? You do not know what they did!” You are right. I don’t know; but I do know what unforgiveness can do to you and to your marriage. The anger can build and turn to rage until your wrath spews everywhere.
Try this. Take your anger before God in prayer. He knows everything anyway. Ask Him to guide you through the process of forgiveness. Forgiving your spouse might happen today or it may happen over time, but it will happen. Taking that first step toward forgiveness might just prevent an eruption that could destroy your marriage. Will you get on your knees and begin now?
Dr. Kim’s new book, 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage, will help you deal with your anger and move your marriage forward like you never dreamed possible.