When I teach premarital classes, I ask couples what they do for fun. I get all kinds of answers. These couples have fun together. They do different things. Having fun is an important part of their life together. When I ask that same question of couples that have been married a few years, I often get blank stares. They may look at each other and never come up with an answer. What happens? The answer is simple. Life gets in the way. Jobs, kids, and activities can so clutter our schedules that we do not take time to have fun together.
Nancy and I did a pretty good job of having fun together before we had kids. Then we became more kid focused. We had fun but did not set aside time to have fun together - just the two of us. Finally we planned a beach trip. No friends. No kids. Just us. It was amazing. We rediscovered each other. We laughed, played, and reconnected in a way we forgot was possible. On the plane ride home, we made a commitment to often purposefully carve out time for just the two of us to have fun together. It made a difference for us. A huge difference.
Take a time-out and talk to your spouse about having fun together. Make a commitment to have fun together. Here are a few things to talk about:
- Have a weekly date. Set aside time each week for just the two of you. You do not have to spend a lot of money. You can do fast food and a dollar movie. We used to love sitting by a local lake and watching the sailboats and sunset. Be creative and hold that weekly date time sacred.
- Plan a getaway for just the two of you at least once a year and more often if possible. You can go to a Bed and Breakfast, stay at a local hotel, or do a more elaborate trip.
- Try new restaurants together.
- Try a new activity. Walk, run, kayak, bike, bowl - you get the idea.
The important thing is not so much what you do, it is taking the time to do it together.
Share some of your ideas with us.
Dr. Kim’s book “Secrets of an Awesome Marriage” has short one to two page chapters that put a positive focus on marriage. Click on the link to get your copy today: